The incedibly mundane and rare ramblings of Benji

Good afternoon all, While I contemplate what to have for lunch before I head to the gym, and simultaneously get this computer ready for use by someone who doesn't want to have to deal with all the brokeness I thought I would quickly write a bit about the upcoming week. So, tonight I get to see The Devin Townsend Project again. This is very exciting. I have seen them before, but that does not dull the excitement. Devin is by far my favourite artist. I also get to see them at soundwave on Friday, along with a host of other bands.For the first time in ages I am planning to go to a festival early, to see a band at 11:30ish. Then the week gets really exciting, as it is my darling fiancée's birthday on the coming Monday, so Saturday I am heading up to spend the best part of 5 days with her :D We are also going to be having lunch at a potential wedding venue I believe, which is terribly exciting. I really feel almost like it is the first of her birthdays we are spending togeth...

I just spoke to the love of my life. She is very inspiring to me. Talking to her about what she wants to do with her life makes me think about what I should do with mine. I don't have an answer yet, but I am hoping to find one by exploring myself and my thoughts. I know I want to help people. I know I want to make the world a better place. I have determined that this can be done and it is not an entirely futile endeavour. I have also determined that I don't want to be a mindless drone slaving for wages doing the work of a golem. I will do this, to ensure my survival, and that of my family in the future, but it is not my preference. But what do I want to do. My lovely fiancée has made suggestions, and I will follow them up, I just wanted to write some stuff down to keep my brain orderly. Once again, I will be back later, probably on about something else entirely.

It doesn't get easier. You keep thinking it will, but it doesn't. When you've been with someone for over a year, but you still live 300 km apart, the weeks apart feel like months. The days together feel like minutes. And when things happen, a relatively small distance feels infinite. The time left until you are together doesn't seem to get any shorter either. 5 and a half months feels the same as 6, which felt the same as 6 and a half. The time until you are together trends towards eternity. You think that maybe you should just blow off your lease, your job, all of the agreements and commitments you are slowly working your way through. But I know that I want to move towards a future with my fiancée, not run away from my past. It is a subtle difference, but I am tired of running away. And the Ben that runs away from everything is not the Ben that I want to marry Jessica. I had more, it has gone. Maybe next time Listening to- Ocean Machine. Also- Cooked on Phonics...

As always this may ramble a little. That is in my nature. For anyone who cares I am listening to Ki by The Devin Townsend Project, who I will be seeing in about 2 weeks. That is quite awesome. So, since my last post I have proposed to my darling girlfriend, and long story short she said yes. Short story long we had a picnic near the beach in St Kilda, and I may have delivered quite a dorky proposal. I may have also had a few tears of happiness when she said yes. That night we went and had quite an amazing dinner at Bok Choy Tang in Federation Square. I was initially planning to wait and ask her later in the year, but revelations of my life over the last year, and an amazing formspring answer from DoctorNvrmore made me realise that now is the time. Not just for this but for everything. I think it has always been my nature to wait and wait for better and better data before making decisions and not just following my heart and my instinct. Not anymore. I want to be the best person I can ...